


All of Me

by lancer365



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Fluff, Romance, Short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29764617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lancer365/pseuds/lancer365
Summary: Alex has something she needs to tell Olivia. Olivia’s response catches her off guard, and soon an unexpected conversation turns into a reveal of so much more.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	All of Me

**A.N. Just a short, quick story. Takes place somewhere in the 13th season. Hope you like the first half!**

* * *

**All of Me**

Wine for her, but something stronger for the detective this go around; their late evening drinks after work becoming a bit of a tradition.

Soft jazz played overhead, and they started as always, with banter about the day. Olivia leaned on the restaurant table, her hands folded as she smiled a warm, contagious smile. Alex hesitated to break such a comfortable moment, but knowing Olivia as long as she had, the detective deserved to know. She wouldn’t walk out on Liv without warning like she had before.

"Liv, there's something else I want to tell you." Alex put down her wine glass, facing the concern drawing into Olivia's gaze.

"What is it?" 

"I put in my resignation."

Betrayal flashed through Olivia's eyes and Alex looked down as the detective pushed against the table and away from her, leaning back in her seat. "My last day will be the end of this month." 

Olivia focused on the table with a furrowing brow. "Why are you leaving?" 

"I have other interests, and this job takes all of me." Alex smiled a little. "I feel like I'm growing old and stale—" 

"You're not old and stale." Olivia downed her drink fast enough to warrant an odd look from the woman across from her. 

"I just want to do something different. See something different." Alex tried to meet Olivia's gaze but their once consistent eye contact was lost. Olivia wouldn't look at her. 

"What's with the change of heart? Thought you liked being here. Thought Manhattan _was_ you." Olivia looked at her watch. 

Alex didn't miss the subtle jab in Olivia's words. The way the detective turned something she once said against her…it stung.

"This doesn't feel like my place anymore. The D.A’s office has outgrown me." Alex sighed. "Honestly, it feels like something's missing...I don't know what it is." 

"Why would you leave to pursue something y—" 

Olivia's phone rang and Alex inwardly sighed having been saved from any objections. She wanted to remember the good between them, not how many of their conversations turned into debates. She just wanted to enjoy this moment with Olivia, see her smile and have an easy-going Friday evening. For just a little while they were both freed from the stress of work. 

"Go ahead Rollins." Olivia listened to the phone call with a furrowed brow. "Okay..." Olivia glanced to her watch. "Meet me at my apartment in an hour. I'm on my way back." She hung up the call. 

_‘At her apartment?’_ Alex looked down, steeling her jaw. What was this new detective to Olivia, that she so easily invited her over? Last she checked Olivia valued her privacy and wasn’t one to trust frivolously. It was at least a year into _their_ friendship before she ever saw the inside of Olivia’s apartment. "Sounds important." Alex tasted the hint of sarcasm in her words, regretting it immediately. She didn’t mean it; it just came out. But then again, her first reactions were often her truest.

Their gazes met; a subtle challenge between them testing the value of their friendship against personal priorities, and what meant more was the question. Olivia’s penetrating stare held Alex captive a second too long before she looked down, acceptance yet also something sorrowful in her eyes. "…Do what you need to do Alex." Olivia reached across the table and took Alex’s hand, giving it a quick squeeze before letting go. "You know where to find me."

That touch, something so small, blindsided Alex. A rare moment, she hoped to catch a glimpse of Olivia’s hand over hers, but by the time she looked down the detective had pulled away.

A rustle of clothing, a clinking of keys…

Olivia gathered her coat and Alex perked, watching Olivia’s every move with anxious eyes; a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as Olivia stood. She’d messed up—said something, done something to drive Olivia away.

"You're leaving?" 

Olivia slipped on her coat. "Yeah, I'm gonna get a head start home." 

"You told her an hour. Surely you have plenty of time—"

"I have to make a stop on the way." Olivia put a twenty-dollar bill on the table, and Alex stood as Olivia's gaze focused on the door.

"...can we talk—" 

"We just did—" 

"Liv." Alex’s brow shot to a furrow, her mouth slightly agape at Olivia’s suddenly distant mood. She wanted to ignore the uncharacteristic snap in Olivia's voice, but couldn't. Something between them was breaking. 

Olivia sighed. "Sorry."

"...What’s bothering you? Is it something I said?" 

Olivia looked at her like she'd been caught, a gaze which didn't last as the detective averted her eyes. "...Later Alex. Not now." Olivia brushed past her and left; the chime at the top of the restaurant’s door signaling their end, a striking blow.

Outside Olivia stuck her hands in her coat pockets, braving Manhattan’s unforgiving winter as she passed in front of the restaurant’s paneled windows with a menacing look. 

_‘Great.’_ Alex rolled her eyes and sat. She glanced to a table nearby, double-taking at the grey haired man in a business suit nursing a cup of coffee. He nodded towards the door.

Alex raised an eyebrow. 

“You should go after her.” He called out, years of wisdom in his tender, knowing smile.

“...Oh we’re not...”

The restaurant quieted. Around the room faces turned to her, eyes watching.

_‘Seriously?’_

She looked to the man. A part of her wanted to tell him to fuck off. But it was only pressure and guilt driving her to that response. 

He was right.

* * *

The sky darkened but the night didn’t scare her anymore. A decade as a cop easily took away that fear.

Footprints left in the snow led to the bench where she sat without a care in the world. Blanketed white, Central Park was pretty this time of year, but she’d grown numb to its appeal. 

The air gently whistled past her ears; frigid winds welcoming her misery.

She’d missed...no...moved on from Alex a long time ago. So why did it bother her so much?

Alex was allowed to leave and go anywhere she wanted. Nothing tied her to Manhattan. 

But this time would she come back? Something said no.


End file.
